Why I hate Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy

Dr. Meredith Grey — from Grey's Anatomy Official Instagram account

Because it’s not even science fiction. It’s a complete fucking fantasy world.

She has three, I underline, THREE kids, and NO husband (Dr. Sheperd, alas, is long dead and she’s a widow). How, then, can she fly to Minessota EVERY EFFING WEEK? For days at a time, no less? And there’s her thinking there — kids need stability. Yeah, they do! But this is only a token thought, considering that her kids appear or are mentioned on the show once a month (if even that often) when she picks someone up from school or childcare. Currently, her youngest daughter Ellis is about 5 years old, her son Derek is 8, and the eldest daughter, Zola (adopted), is 11. This means that all the kids still require a full-time supervisor — as in the US, it’s normally recommended that one shouldn’t leave kids younger than 12 years old home alone. So… how?… And is picking someone from school once a month or so all that’s required from a parent these days? Or maybe just the parent who is a surgeon has this luxury? Or perhaps it’s just this specific single-mother-brilliant-surgeon-groundbreaking-researcher?

Who takes care of those kids?

And it’s not like the show doesn’t have characters who are also mothers but whose situation looks way more realistic. There’s also a single mom Jo Wilson, who only has one baby but one can see that she’s constantly tired, overwhelmed, and when she needs to do anything without the baby, her friend Link often helps her out.

But guess what, they’re also both surgeons.

With careers that are just as demanding and schedules that are just as crazy. And, in the case of Amelia, also with a child. So how can they even factor in on such conditions, and where can any other single (or even married) mom get a couple of such magical sisters?

Because they must be magical creatures. There’s no way they aren’t. — Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Man. If you were to tell me that you’ve seen a unicorn this morning on your lawn and that it was shitting butterflies, I would believe your story over this plot every day.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

OK maybe it’s not very realistic, but it’s a TV show after all. Why do I hate it all so much?

And I will tell you why. Because it creates the expectation. The impossible bar that is raised so high, no human mother can ever reach it.

“You can have it all”, it tells you.
And it’s a lie.

I have one child. Just one two-year-old. And a husband who is fully invested in childcare. And though we’re expats and have no family close by, at least a couple of times a year one of the grandmas comes for a month or even more, to give us a little relief. And due to the C-word, we’re both on home office. And we have a daycare, though it’s not a magical around-the-clock daycare they seem to have on TV so we have to pick our son up at 15:00.

Tired when he’s 2 years. Just as I was tired when he was 2 months. — Photos from the author’s archive.

Dr. Meredith Grey. I hate you for making the women believe this great, great lie.

Shame on you.



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In German, Rabenmutter is a “Raven mother” — a mother, neglecting her children. In short, not a very good mother.